The Truth About Fanny Packs

Red_Fanny_PackMoon bag, bum bag, buffalo pouch, or hip sack, no matter what you call them fanny packs have a bad reputation. Sure, they’re not the most flattering way to carry your stuff around, but they do have their redeeming qualities. However, most people just can’t seem to overlook the look. It’s time to fasten those buckles, tighten those straps, and put an end to fanny pack hatred.

Fanny packs are the Nickleback of the gear hauling world. People hate them because it’s popular to hate them. That’s not to say that the aversion is unwarranted, but because it is status quo to hate, no one ever really gives them a fair chance.

The fanny pack is the iconic satchel of choice by bumbling tourists everywhere. A brightly colored fanny pack is a way to non-verbally communicate, “I’m not from here.” Walking through traffic or standing idly on the sidewalk can all be justified with a subtle point to a fanny pack.

Trying to maintain any illusion of coolness is next to impossible while donning a fanny pack. Picture for a second James Bond trying to woo a sophisticated lady. He’s, of course, dressed to the nines – black leather shoes, black tuxedo, black bow tie. Every hair is in place and he’s emanating confidence and swagger. Now strap a lime green fanny pack around his waist. Nice try Mr. Bond.

There are a handful of hyper-hip individuals who are so cool that they embrace the uncool. These individuals are unfazed by the notion that fanny packs are cool’s kryptonite. They load their hip sacks with sunglasses and obscure music and step out to face the day. They welcome sideways glances and snide remarks, yet feel oddly uncomfortable when confronted by an individual who genuinely thinks that fanny packs are cool.

Fanny packs aren’t cool.

So what? You won’t be picking up any dates or signing modeling contracts if you roll out with a fanny pack firmly strapped around your waste, but so what? They are actually incredibly handy. Fanny packs are the perfect in-between size for when you have too much to carry in your pockets and not enough to fill a backpack. Not only are they a nice size, but you can hardly feel them. You constantly feel a backpack since it’s basically covering half of your upper-body, and bulging pockets is an equally uncomfortable feeling. That’s why fanny packs are a nice in between.

It might be pointless to (sort of) defend the fanny pack. It’s not likely that one blog post will change the way society views fanny packs. After all, they sure are hideous.

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